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 Review #4742311 |
 | Introduction  [18+] Introduction  |
| (4.0)   Greetings, chloe! I am reviewing this because I discovered it on Read & Review.  I also noticed you are new here! Welcome to WdC! It's a wonderful and encouraging community. First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. What I Liked I found no spelling issues, nor punctuation errors. Technically, it's pretty flawless. Nice! I like that you indented all your paragraphs and added an extra space in between. This all makes for easier reading on a computer screen.   Your sentences flowed nicely. Nothing felt awkward or choppy. Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderI think the biggest thing here, is I was waiting for the hook. Please take no offence! I was hoping to be teased a little bit so I'd want to learn more. I realize this is an introduction, but make the reader curious. You had many words like intimate and extraordinary, encompassing, remarkable, captivating, resilience,, passionate and more. You don't have to give it all away, of course, but give the reader a little more than it's a journey that will leave its mark on the reader. Final ThoughtsIt's obvious that you are a talented writer and meticulous in your writing. All you need to do is reel the reader in with hook.Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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