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Review #4742240
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.0)
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A "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review from
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Hello debmiller1 Author Icon

I have to say that the title and intro line that mention a Sudanese, a new American (are they the same person) and the century plant life cycle are intriguing. I wonder if the plant is an organism like a tree or an industrial manufacturing plant of some sort.

Okay. The first paragraph explains it all. The person is originally from Sudan and now in the United States. And we are really looking at an plant that is a hundred years old. I wonder why it has to die soon. And if it has to die soon, why is Faheem the only one there watching? This story was posted here in 2024, fully in the age of "Fear of Missing Out", meaning whenever something unique is going on, it is bound to draw huge crowds.

Sudan used a lottery to award American work visas. *Right* This doesn't sound right. Other nations do not get to decide who wins a visa to the United States. This lottery is run by the United States government.

I am not sure if you were limited by a word count, which explains a little bit how this story progresses.

allegorical twenty-five foot stem *Right* Are you sure you are using this word in the correct way? An allegory is a complete narrative that seems to be about one thing but is actually about another. The stem is not about anything else but itself. You would have to put that word in context with Faheem. As a human, his existence is more multi-faceted.

At the end, I can't stop thinking that Faheem shouldn't worry about being able to come back, at least in legal terms. As a US citizen, he has the right to come and go as he pleases. I do wonder if Sudan will let him leave.

You created a good bit of drama around just one man and an unusual plant by including such scary world events as a war a whole continent away.

Annette
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/09/2024 @ 2:42pm EDT
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