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Review #4742218
Viewing a review of:
The Lesson  [ASR]
A young man gets a lesson in hiding pain
by Fairport
Review of The Lesson  
Review by Lornda ~ Away ~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Hello, Fairport
*Balloonb* A gift from "Anniversary Reviews" ! *Balloonb*


*Sun* I enjoyed reading your story! It took me back to the days when using a ruler as discipline in school was normal. The first paragraph was painful to read. I could feel everything Patrick was going through, so good job on the hook into your story!

*Sun* As the story progressed, it was good to know exactly what Patrick was feeling, but also to find out what he did exactly to deserve that type of punishment. It's good to note here, that's it's unbelievable that the poor kids had to live through this type of punishment. The beginning is done well to show the emotion behind what was happening, therefore, an excellent hook to draw the reader in. In all honesty, I could feel what this poor kid was going through. So sad. *Sad* Good job on writing the emotional aspect of the story throughout.

*Sun* As far as feedback, there's only one thing that stood out. When writing a sound, I feel it doesn't have to be written out. For example, WwwicK!! I get why it's there, but it's described well already without the, shall we say, sound effects.

*Sun* Overall, I liked the story! Even though it's a sad one, I thought the emotion was done well and added at the right time. I also liked the descriptions to put me right into the scene. Like this one: The coolness embraced him like a light, invisible liquid. I thought the ending was well done and the descriptions were spot on to describe the scene. Overall, a well-written story!

*Swords* Lornda




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