"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Gervic

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes. Yup, me again!

Title: Silent on the Balcony

First Impression: Thank you for including the prompt requirements, I find that very helpful. The rhyming pattern works very well here. I remember the day President Kennedy because it's the first time I ever saw my Grandma and my Uncle cry. I had just came in from school and they were sitting in front of the television sobbing.

What needs your attention: I can't find anything I would change, you nailed it Gervic. Kudos.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the whole build up to the final line, it felt like a wave of emotion crashing on to me. The last stanza felt intense like I was standing there in that moment especially with no pulse, no breath a chilling hush.

Overall impression: The stanzas were a consistent four line stanza with a rhyming pattern that worked very well. The rhyming didn't feel forced The pacing was good. I feel it should have won the challenge. And yes, I read the other competitors entries so I'm not trying to flatter you.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? You're a tough competitor.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .