\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741103
Review #4741103
Viewing a review of:
Image Protector
The Tale of Peter Piglet Open in new Window. [E]
April 2023 entry for the Bard's Hall contest. (Winner)
by Once in Ryan David's City Author Icon
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of The Tale of Peter Piglet by Once in Ryan David's City Author Icon

First things first - congratulations on the Quill win. Those are not easy to get.

Then what I think is my only quibble. It's not really for children, is it? I mean, it's funny from an adult point of view as we've all had experience of how a bunch of kids can reduce anything to chaos with a few innocent questions. But it wouldn't work with children. They'd spoil it by asking the questions before you could get to the written ones.

It is actually very hard to write for children. The little blighters are extremely difficult tp predict and seem to be aware of every adult weakness in the book. So we end up either condescending to them (in which case they give much worse in return) or aiming way above their heads (and then they won't listen). The best is just to write for them when inspired - just like for adults, in fact.

So that's my only suggestion for improvement - think of another genre rather than children's. Entertainment would fit well enough. And don't put down Contest Entry as a genre. That info is given in the text anyway so it's a mere unnecessary repeat and a waste of a genre type. And each of those brings in more readers searching for that particular thing.

Other than that, it's well written, hilariously close to the truth, imaginative, and obviously inspired by experience. Well done indeed.

Review by
Small photo
Beholden

for




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/02/2024 @ 9:13am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741103