\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740932
Review #4740932
Viewing a review of:
 The Lost Memories of Mrs. Mathalda Open in new Window. [E]
An old witch attempts to save her memories before they leave.
by The_Cavity has wisdom teeth! Author Icon
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.! *Dragon*


Hi The_Cavity has wisdom teeth! Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Lost Memories of Mrs. Mathalda" Open in new Window..

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

*Note1* Overall Impression. First, I have to say the date you joined WDC is my birth date. I always enjoy a good coincidence. I find being able to read and review someone I've not yet met to be a truly enjoyable part of being a member here.

I had a choice of several stories to review, and having read them, I decided on this gem. Though I suspect it was written from a fanciful standpoint, it has a lot of reality wrapped in its words. The intense emotions often associated with first love, and even marriage, tends to fade with the ensuing years. I believe they blossom into tenderness, devotion, affection and yes, love. Though this love is more enduring than that intense attraction that first draws two together.

Tis sad that Arnold and Emma discover that too late. I wonder how often those disillusions manifest in many relationships.

Yours is an imaginative look at two people who have lived a lifetime--90 years is truly a lifetime--together, and still find differences that cause concerns over their relationship. Maintaining a close relationship is very difficult and takes a lot of work ... as anyone in such a liaison can attest.

You pack a lot of emotions in such a short piece.

         *Bullet* I know you need Arnold's decision as part of your story to realize the final outcome. But after 90 years, it's hard to believe such a sentiment would be voiced aloud.    

         *Bullet*     

*Exclaim* Technical Considerations. This section relates to the mechanics of your writing.

         *Bullet* May I suggest changing bottom to base. It seems a better choice.  At the bottom of Witch’s Point Peak  

         *Bullet* It's should not be possessive in this case. Remove the apostrophe.  everything had a crookedness about it’s setting.  

         *Bullet* An ellipsis is not needed in this instance.  We don’t really love each other….Do we?”  We don’t really love each other. Do we?”

         *Bullet* This version is possessive requiring the apostrophe.  But its not love, Emma.  But it's not love, Emma.

*Thumbsup* Favorite Part. The essence of your offering.

 Emma struggled to hold on to his face, when she realized, that it was that moment in the clearing when everything changed between her and her husband.

*Star* My Rating. 4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing your offering.

Reviewed by

Personal GoT Sigil



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740932