"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Fox

First Impression: As I was perusing your port and The Fox jumped out at me. In the Games of Thrones, I'm a fox from House Florent so it seemed right to review your flash fiction piece.

What needs your attention: I did notice so transition words missing and some run-on sentences that would serve the author better as separate sentences.

Walking along the path in the park, as I had two thousand or more times in the past years, I was barely paying attention.
"as I had two thousand or more times in the past." It would read smoother as I had for two thousand or more times in the past.

Walking along the path in the park, as I had two thousand or more times in the past years, I was barely paying attention. I had seen every tree, every bush through buds, leaves, turning colors, going bare and starting over with new buds in spring.

Walking along the path as I had for two thousand or more times in the past years. I barely paid attention. I had seen every tree and bush bud, grow leaves and turn colors before going bare. The cycle began again each year.

Just food for thought.

What part I liked best: The newswoman talking with the grandma made me chuckle because I'm a grandma as well. It's challenging to make good use of our time. I make hats for premature babies and chemo patients. Like your Grandma I don't want to tackle bigger projects because I'm guilty of spreading myself too thin.

Overall impression: The fox's voice added an interesting twist to the story. It was entertaining and relatable.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .