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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740861
Review #4740861
Viewing a review of:
 Firefly  Open in new Window. [13+]
RIP Olivia
by Isla Carter Author Icon
Review of Firefly  Open in new Window.
Review by NaNoKit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Kit's Contest and Awards G...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Isla Carter Author Icon,

Welcome to Writing.Com! *Smile* This review is a part of "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. [13+].

Overall Impression:

This is a touching piece that, for its short length, contains a lot of depth. It deals with a difficult subject and contains some raw and honest emotions that must not have been easy to put on the page. You did well expressing them, and the result packs a punch.

What I like about this item is that despite its brevity I feel like I got to know Olivia, at least a little. Through expressing your thoughts and feelings about what happened I learned about a person who was loved, and who at times lived life to the fullest... but who didn't have it easy, nor did she desire to take an easy route through this world. She sure did make a big impact - I can understand why she is deeply missed.

There is such warmth here. And I love the bit about the firefly. Well done.

Suggestions:

I do have a couple of suggestions, dear author. I hope that you will find them helpful!

Paragraph 2:

*Snow2* ... I did tho,

When writing stories, it's best to write the complete word. So, I suggest changing 'tho' to though.

General Suggestion:

*Snow2* There are a few sentences that begin with a lower-case letter instead of a capital letter. I suggest changing this.

My Rating:

This is a powerful little piece. I found it quite moving.

I did have a couple of suggestions. Nothing major, though. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

House Lannister image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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