Throwing Rocks [E] Little Johnny is throwing rocks and then the Earth explodes. |
Hi FaeThorned - This is a "Game of Thrones" review. The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. The reason I chose this particular story/poem: I was scrolling through the "Newbies to Read" and the description for this story caught my attention. My opinion of said story/poem: I enjoyed this story very much. Little Johnny is a believable character, well thought out, and he shows typical behavior for a child of that age (I'm thinking 10). There are just a couple of things I feel I should point out: 1. In paragraph 5: for some reason the phrase "to protect himself" seems awkward, maybe "for protection" would be less wieldly. 2. In paragraph 6: instead of lowering only one arm you may want to allow him to lower both arms, it'll be a lot easier for him to get down from his perch that way. 3. In paragraph 8: I know Johnny's feet are probably quite tough from constantly going barefoot in such an environment, but, wouldn't the dirt forming the crater be really hot just from the impact? I would think there would be some type of reaction to that kind of heat, even if it's just wanting to hurry because it's so bloody hot. I could be wrong on this, maybe the earth doesn't absorb the heat with the impact. Conclusion: This is an enjoyable little story that has the potential to be turned into a much longer story if you so choose. Write on! Thanks much, Lovina Your work was rated using the guidelines from:
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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