%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4740583 |
 | Not In The Bathtub  [ASR] What will my friends say?  |
| (4.5)| Hello THANKFUL SONALI Library Class!, my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently. First Impression: There was a horrible moment when I thought this tale wouldn’t have a happy ending. They were in love and looking forward to their future together, and then he started talking about motor racing. Surely, nothing good could come from this… Fortunately, it wasn’t one of those stories and the ending was (reasonably) happy. So he didn’t win (I was starting to chuckle when she kept repeating that question) but at least his car had a decent name and she didn’t have to be embarrassed. You have included a lot of interesting details in this story. The cost of a phone call became important later on when he called to talk about the race, and the way her mother drew her own conclusion from the thickness of the letters was nicely done. I like the way you told part of the stories via the letters. It was like a conversation, only there were weeks in between. It reminded me of stories my mum told me when she was dating my dad and he went to sea for months at a time. She would send letters he would receive when he reached the next port, and every so often she would receive a bundle of letters from him. A very difficult way to communicate, but the young couple here managed it successfully, with only the occasional expensive phone call to supplement the letters.  Suggestions: I didn’t notice any errors in this story and I only have one, tiny suggestion: It was quite noticeable that you didn’t name the characters and I assume that was a choice and you didn’t simply forget to name them. I’ve always found that it works well to name the characters right in the first sentence - it might be personal preference but I thought I’d mention is since I was here, and because I didn’t have anything else to complain about   Final Thoughts: I thought this was a great story, with a measure of humour and action and two interesting characters the readers got to care about (even if they didn’t know their names). I’m glad she was happy in the end even though he didn’t win!    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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