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Review #4740490
Viewing a review of:
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My Brother Joe Open in new Window. [E]
a Rondeau poem in memoriam
by Dave Author Icon
Review of My Brother Joe  Open in new Window.
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Dave Author Icon.

I'm Jace, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "My Brother Joe" Open in new Window. for the "~ The Poet's Place Cafe~" Open in new Window. group. *Smile*

*Puzzle4* Form. You chose a Rondeau poetic format containing 15 lines with a specific pattern for rhyme and repetition.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I followed your meter pretty well while reading--eight beats per line with two exceptions. I tend to read poetry out loud; I find it easier to follow. I noted one issue (see below).

*Exclaim* Technical or Editorial Considerations. I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your poem.

         *Bullet* I stumbled over this line--it just didn't flow well for me. It sounded stilted. A suggestion follows:  as my brother finished final ride  my brother finished his final ride

*Star* Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinions.


Reviewed by
JACE

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/01/2024 @ 11:10am EDT
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