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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740372
Review #4740372
Viewing a review of:
 Endless Rocky Road Open in new Window. [E]
A man at his lowest point finds solace in the simple force that binds us.
by Evan Hall Author Icon
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Poseyo* Welcome to WDC from "Review a NewbieOpen in new Window.! *Poseyo*



*PenB* First Impressions:

I saw your review request in the "Review a NewbieOpen in new Window. forum and I thought I’d give your story a read. I’m glad I did. This is an exceptional piece of writing with an intriguing plot, well-rounded characters and some complex emotions, and all told in just 2,500 words. You didn’t waste any on unnecessary details, and yet the descriptions were enough to give me a clear image of the settings, especially, of course, at the end, when the story’s title gets explained.

I felt I got to know Harlen pretty well in this short tale, but his family, despite their smaller parts in this tale, were also very well written. The interactions between them, especially between Harlen and his son in the first half of the story, were realistic, and I could relate to Harlen trying to think of the right things to say and then saying all the wrong ones.


*PenG* Suggestions:

I usually point out grammatical or spelling errors in this section, or make suggestions how to improve the story, but try as I might, I can’t think of a single thing I would change about this tale. So I’m going to use this space to point out a line that I thought was particularly well done:

The matter was closed; a door slammed too hard for the fragile spirit of the boy.
To me, that showed the end of the conversation, and Harlen’s understanding of what had happened, really well.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

There were some parts that were left quite vague, for example what exactly the deal was with the Baxters. It worked for the story and I liked how you hinted just enough for the readers to understand their relationship without any unnecessary explanations. Overall, I thought this was a great story and I really enjoyed the read.


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