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![]() | Diamonds, Pearls and Tea ![]() Flash Fiction Entry. ![]() |
Hi L.A.Saxe ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I am reviewing your piece of flash fiction, "Diamonds, Pearls and Tea" ![]() ![]() Please remember all opinions are solely my own, and any advice given is done so with the sole intention of being helpful. ![]() ![]() ![]() What I liked: Everything! Every single thing about this short piece of fiction appealed to me. I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading, but within the first couple of sentences, I was hooked. I love the way Dotty and her friends keep distracting Inspector Bin and taking his concentration away from the reason he is there. I was wondering where he was heading with the "blue—" that keep getting cut off. It became obvious pretty quickly that these ladies had committed some kind of crime. I thought that would be the reveal at the end, the fact that these older ladies were the criminals, and when that reveal came, I patted myself on the back. But then, when the real twist came, I laughed out loud. I love that the old ladies were really bluebirds, disguised as ladies. That was a stroke of genius. Their unmasking of themselves is perfection. ![]() ![]() ![]() Suggestions: This is more of a question than a suggestion. I just wondered what made Detective Bin call on the ladies to ask questions? Were they in close proximity to the jewellery store? Or did he have a tip off that they might know something? If that's the case, I thought he would have paid closer attention. Even if he didn't have a tip off about them, he was pretty dire as a detective. It was obvious to me they were hiding something straight away. Even if I didn't guess the fact that they were all giant birds in human costumes! ![]() ![]() ![]() Parting Comments: This is a very enjoyable flash fiction. The twist is fantastic, and I don't think anyone will guess it when they read this. It's so clever. And very, very funny. Happy account anniversary! Choconut ![]() ![]()
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