*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4737341
Review #4737341
Viewing a review of:
 Trapped in a Fog  [E]
Can I find my way out of this fog?
by 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson
Review of Trapped in a Fog  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§amaCabre


This is a vivid and poignant description of the state of being in a fog. It could be a metaphor for any emotional disturbance - PTSD, depression and so on. I'm sure those who have gone through anything like this will relate.

Suggestion: You've repeated the phrase 'a way out'. While I know it's an important concept in this scenario, I wonder if phrasing it differently would have more impact.

Also, at one point you say the sun will rise. This is clearly hopeful and looking on the brighter side (literally and figuratively!) So ending it with 'I hope' seems to be a bit of an anti climax. Is this deliberate, to echo what a sufferer might actually face?

Thanks for sharing this poem!
Write On
- Sonali

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4737341