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Review #4736827
Viewing a review of:
 
Our Ritual of Spring Open in new Window. [E]
Oh the joy of morel mushroom hunting in the Spring.
by willow Author Icon
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi willow Author Icon

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


I am reviewing your short piece, "Our Ritual of Spring" Open in new Window., in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window..

Please remember, these opinions are solely my own, and any advice is given with the sole intention of being helpful.


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What I liked: Firstly, I want to say I love the springtime. Spring is my favourite season, and mushrooming is one of the things I love to do. So I was interested as soon as I saw this title in your portfolio.

I love the way you set the scene of the dark, slightly damp woods where morel mushrooms are hiding, waiting to be picked by you. I love your image of the daffodils peeking through the soil. Daffodils are a sure sign that spring is on the horizon. The "crispness" you describe in the air pulls your reader right inside the woods. It made me think instantly of the place I love to walk which is in the middle of a wood. It has that dark, dank feeling. But, also, a touch of magic.

I found the part about your friend Sheila's daughters moving. It is nice that they got to share this special experience with you. It's a lovely tribute to your friend. I also found it really nice to read about how special your time hunting for morel mushrooms is for you and your family. It sounds like a great way to spend quality time together.


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Suggestions: There is a typo here. You have put the period outside of the quotation marks. "'I found one'." Similarly, here you put the exclamation mark outisde of the quotation marks: "'his is better than hunting Easter eggs'!" The end punctuation before you close the speech with speech marks should always be inside the quote marks.

You have some sentences in here which are incomplete, fragments. For example, your first sentence needs something added to it to make it complete. "Around mid March to early April, after the daffodils peep through the soil and the daytime sun warms the woodland floor." The next sentence reads as though it is the second part of the first sentence: "There are patches of mayapples standing tall, looking like toadstools from afar." I would change the period to a comma and and make this one sentence. There are a couple of other places like this, so I would just check them out if I were you.

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Parting Comments: This is a lovely portrait of a special family time you enjoy every year. I hope you are still hunting for morel mushrooms. It must be around the right time of year to do that now, mustn't it?

Thanks for sharing this beautiful memory. Happy anniversary!


Choconut

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