\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4736557
Review #4736557
Viewing a review of:
 Whispers in the Rat Race Open in new Window. [E]
In this rat race, the demons are loudest.The arrogant king who knows what to do.
by Rootcreator Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I found this poem to be quite relatable and interesting. The free verse is tidy and easy to read, with a subtle rhyme upon closer examination, and your biblical references are unique and creative. I’ve always been puzzled about the book of Job myself: it’s one of those things that no one really understands. And the quietly antisocial sentiment expressed in your final three lines might as well have been written by me *Laugh*

I would suggest using size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability across devices and to make the poem look more “interesting” on the page. You may also want to see how it looks centered. I also noticed you end it with a quotation mark, which doesn’t appear to connect to anything. Another tip is to add three relevant genres to the item so that it’s easier to find when browsing. This allows for more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would suggest “Spiritual,” “Philosophical,” and “Experience.”

Did you choose to make it 13 lines on purpose? The second line hints at rebellion, or perhaps you speak sarcastically. The struggle to remain spiritual and keep one’s head on one’s shoulders in the hectic, backbiting world is well expressed here.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4736557