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Review #4736147
Viewing a review of:
 Billboard From Space Open in new Window. [ASR]
After traveling the cosmos, the advert finally landed.
by NaNotatoGo! Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings,

I enjoyed this quick and amusing read. The absurdity and irony of the situation is well portrayed.

If it's an entry for a contest, as I assume from the highlighted keywords, I would recommend adding the word count to the top or bottom of the item. Also, it's handy to include the list of prompt words or the general idea they gave you, for later reference. That way you know why you wrote such a funny story *BigSmile*

On mobile I can't tell what font style you've chosen: Size 4 Verdana is the best to ensure readability across devices.

I noticed a couple of slipups in the agent's name: he's either Peters or Peterson. Also, one thing I learned when writing Green Dragon (remember the spy story you advised me on?) Is that they're never called "agents." Don't ask me what they are called - operatives? *Laugh*

I don't see anything else to correct or adjust here. You've done well in creating an anticlimactic parody of alien stories.

At the ending, it would be funny to tie in Peters's lack of words with the unknown language on the sign, somehow. Like "he had as much of a clue about how to explain this to his superiors as he did what the sign said..." No, that doesn't sound very good. I can't think of how to say it. Do you know what I mean?

Just ignore me... *Rolling*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *AlienG*


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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4736147