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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4735782
Review #4735782
Viewing a review of:
 Becoming  Open in new Window. [E]
A personal insight into being Autistic
by Erithacus Author Icon
Review of Becoming  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello Erithacus

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary ReviewsOpen in new Window. activity.


*Penw* Positives

I thought you did a great job of describing some of your experiences of living with autism. There's a lot of good information in here, including that it's not just a different perspective or something like that; it's truly a situation where people with autism have a neurodivergent experience of the world. My wife is a special education teacher and one of the vendors I interact with most for work is professionals on the spectrum, so I definitely relate to the information you're presenting in this piece.


*Penw* Suggestions

One small suggestion I would make is to change the second person point of view ("I do not think the same way as you", "When you walk along the street," etc.). In my experience, written pieces about neurodiverse perspectives are often read as much by people in the community as outside of it; there's a good chance that someone seeking out work like this might be somewhere on the spectrum themselves and the second person POV might be a little off-putting if it makes assumptions about their experience of the world. It might be more inclusive to take an approach where you're detailing the experiences of an "average" person, or the majority of the population, while allowing a bit of room for the reader to connect with you if they have a similar experience of the world.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was an excellent essay and you made your point beautifully. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/10/2024 @ 5:13am EDT
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