\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4735289
Review #4735289
Viewing a review of:
A Letter to God Open in new Window. [ASR]
based on a dream
by K5Rakitan Author Icon
Review of A Letter to God  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Hello K5Rakitan

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary ReviewsOpen in new Window. activity.


*Penw* Positives

I liked your take on divinity. I'm of the same opinion that God isn't necessarily embodied by the Western Christian ideal of a grandfatherly white man in white robes, but rather can take any number of forms depending on to whom he's revealing himself. I also like the idea of trying to show that God is embodied in simple, everyday interactions.


*Penw* Suggestions

Some added detail and development of the scene would really help to show what a special moment this is. While the scene is set effectively as it currently exists, it reads a little more like a quick vignette than a deeper story, and I think your initial premise (of God being in the people we love) would be more effectively illustrated with a bit more information about the nature of the relationship between the two individuals in the anecdote.


*Penw* Overall

This was a thought-provoking item that was well-written. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/05/2024 @ 6:45pm EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4735289