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Review #4735075
Viewing a review of:
 I Remember You Open in new Window. [13+]
To Every Veteran
by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon
Review of I Remember You  Open in new Window.
Review by NaNoKit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

I was glad to see an entry for "HONORING OUR VETERANS " Open in new Window. [ASR]. I know how much Monty Author Icon appreciates entries for his contest. It's not always the easiest subject to write about, but it's important to acknowledge and remember. You do a good job showing this in your poem.

I like the concept of this piece. The way that war leaves its mark on veterans - that certain something visible in those who have seen conflict, no matter where in the world, and no matter what time in history. I have seen it too, in my grandfather who throughout his life remained affected by World War II, and in friends who saw action in Iraq, and in Afghanistan. We must not forget. We must, indeed, remember.

There is some nice wording here, and the imagery is effective. I could easily visualise these faces. On the technical side of things, your poem reads well. It has a smooth rhythm and flow. The repetition at the beginning of each stanza works. On the whole, I feel that you have a well-written piece here.

Suggestions:

I do have a couple of suggestions, dear author. I hope that you'll find them helpful.

Stanza 2:

*Snow2* You use some punctuation in your poem, and this is very welcome. It assists the overall clarity and reading experience. In line with this, I suggest placing a comma at the end of line one. It would make for a smoother, clearer transition to the next line.

Stanza 4:

*Snow2* Army Air Corp

I think that 'Corp' should be Corps.

My Rating:

This is a strong, well-written poem. It made for a good read.

I did have a couple of suggestions, but they were minor ones. I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Best of luck in the contest!

Kit


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