Hello Steven Gepp!

Thanks again for the beta reader opportunity on this urban dragon novel of yours. I just finished reading this new chapter, so I'm here to do your review. I hope you enjoy it and find it encouraging and uplifting.


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:
I enjoyed the new chapter and am looking forward to the next one. Well done!

You kept me riveted and I read all the way through to the end. Well done!



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

I'm not sure how many people would have done what your character did... at the beginning or end of the chapter, but I can see how some guys would react that way. It was good you mentioned the motivation (connection to Mark) before he took action. And, really, how else would he have gotten out of the situation at the end? Though the irony... painful for him but entertaining for your readers. Well done.

I also thought you did a great job on emergency call section. It felt authentic. Well done.


The red-haired lady's acrobatics were impressive. Well done.

I didn't notice any spelling mistakes in your new chapter. Well done!


Your story chapter was interesting to me, and made me want to read your next one. Well done!



IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
Like with the last review, I'll just mention the little weird or nit picky things that made me stop reading.

I saw something in this sentence: "A car honked me as I careered into its path but I did not even acknowledge the driver as I continued as fast as I could." I think there should be an "at" between "honked" and "me." But perhaps that's the Australian way of saying it? Or just a typo. Dunno. But figured I'd point it out as it made me stop reading.

Only one thing did that in the entire chapter though! Super


CONCLUSION:
You have a great writing style and I easily got drawn into the story. Well done!

Thank you for sharing your time and writing with the Writing.Com community!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler



*** WDC Angel Army Review ***




A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .