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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4734139
Review #4734139
Viewing a review of:
 
The Gateway's Haze  [E]
Where dreams are plucked from the ground
by 🕸️intuey's Spider Web
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello 🕸️intuey's Spider Web !

This poem of yours was in the post before mine in "I Write in 2024," so I'm here to do your review. I hope you enjoy it and find it encouraging and uplifting.


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:
*Bulletg* I enjoyed your fantasy adventure poem! Well done! *Clap*

*Bulletg* You kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end. Well done! *Clap*



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

*Bulleto* I especially loved your rhyming. Some where very creative and all flowed well with the message of your poem. I think my favorite was orchestrates/ awaits. Well done! *Clap*


*Bulleto* Your use of other poetic devices lent to the mystical feeling of your poem and made it much more rhythmic feeling, I think. Well done! *Clap*

*Bulleto* I loved the sense of mystery and adventure in this fantasy poem of yours. Well done! *Clap*

*Bulleto* I love the idea of "spaces where creativity is sown." Well done! *Clap*


*Bulleto* I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes (or mistakes of any kind) in your poem. Well done! *Clap*


*Bulleto* Your poem was interesting to me, and made me want to read your next one. Well done! *Clap*



IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
I have just one idea here, because your piece is so very good. I didn't count syllables and you might have.. but from a visual perspective, this line is longer than the others and stands out: "For in these worlds, it'll take off in flight." And I thought, if you wanted (the poem is great without this change, just a thought for visual appeal), you could easily shorten it to this by dropping two words, and still keep the meaning: "For in these worlds, it'll take flight."

As with any review, please toss what doesn't serve you and enjoy what does. *Smile*



CONCLUSION:
*Bulletv* You have a great writing style and flair for fantasy and I enjoy reading your poems and other writings. Well done! *Clap*

*Bulletv* Thank you for sharing your time, heart, spirit, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler



*** WDC Angel Army Review ***
Reviewed by The Angel Army!



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