The Gateway's Haze [E] Where dreams are plucked from the ground |
Hello 🕸️intuey's Spider Web ! This poem of yours was in the post before mine in "I Write in 2024," so I'm here to do your review. I hope you enjoy it and find it encouraging and uplifting. INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW: I enjoyed your fantasy adventure poem! Well done! You kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end. Well done! MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK: I especially loved your rhyming. Some where very creative and all flowed well with the message of your poem. I think my favorite was orchestrates/ awaits. Well done! Your use of other poetic devices lent to the mystical feeling of your poem and made it much more rhythmic feeling, I think. Well done! I loved the sense of mystery and adventure in this fantasy poem of yours. Well done! I love the idea of "spaces where creativity is sown." Well done! I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes (or mistakes of any kind) in your poem. Well done! Your poem was interesting to me, and made me want to read your next one. Well done! IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER: I have just one idea here, because your piece is so very good. I didn't count syllables and you might have.. but from a visual perspective, this line is longer than the others and stands out: "For in these worlds, it'll take off in flight." And I thought, if you wanted (the poem is great without this change, just a thought for visual appeal), you could easily shorten it to this by dropping two words, and still keep the meaning: "For in these worlds, it'll take flight." As with any review, please toss what doesn't serve you and enjoy what does. CONCLUSION: You have a great writing style and flair for fantasy and I enjoy reading your poems and other writings. Well done! Thank you for sharing your time, heart, spirit, and writing with the Writing.Com community! May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance! PWheeler *** WDC Angel Army Review *** My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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