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Review #4732645
Viewing a review of:
Paul, One Eye, No Legs  [E]
A Tribute to my late neighbor.
by BIG BAD WOLF is Howling
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi BIG BAD WOLF is Howling .

I'm Polter-JACE: Cruising ... , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Paul, One Eye, No Legs" , which I found on the Read & Review feature.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. A fitting tribute. What a great way to honor a friend's passing. Telling someone about a friend's passing is good; but writing about it memorializes that passing.

I understood what you were trying to say with your third line. But I believe you were trying to portray a limited range of motion--I suspect he had to turn more than just his head, but his body to better indicate his frailty.

One other spot bothers me--you state: And I can’t tell anyone, To my mind, you just did tell us. Perhaps state: I can't say

I found it touching that Paul's wife took over his Port after his passing. I notice there hasn't been any activity for more than ten years. I hope that's because of other pursuits. And if Paul has passed and his Port is inactive, have you considered trying to memorialize the Port?

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* No issues found here.   

*Star* My Rating.  4.0. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature



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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/20/2024 @ 11:50am EST
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