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Review #4732084
Viewing a review of:
 End Of The Line  [E]
A train ride with an unexpected destination.
by Dr. Jeffyll, or Mr. Hyde?
Review of End Of The Line  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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#1565040 by Annette


Hallo!
Here I am again! *Smile*

The title, brief description and genres work. Maybe add a cover pic. The layout is easy to read.

The beginning caught my attention, especially the smarmy smile. Immediately one knew the character was up to something.

You held the suspense well. I wanted to know what was coming and wondered if it might have a comic twist, but it didn't - it was sinister.

Just a quibble - at the actual moment of the incident, I had to read twice to understand what had happened! Is it just me, or would you like to re-work that sentence, maybe to two shorter sentences to pack more punch?

Write On!
- Sonali


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