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Review #4731819
Viewing a review of:
 Icy Hand  [E]
Just once I bow to cliche.
by Lou-Here By His Grace
Review of Icy Hand  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi Lou-Here By His Grace .

I'm Polter-JACE: Cruising ... , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Icy Hand" .

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. While I can't say it's my favorite season, I do enjoy winter. I spent most of my formative years growing up in Maine. Now I live in south-central Missouri where snow seldom makes an appreciable appearance.

You mention 27 counties of North Dakota in your opening and closing. I wondered why that number is significant, so I looked up the total number of counties--it's 53. Are they northern counties?

There is something very comforting about sitting snugly in a warm house listening to the winter rage outside. You set a vivid picture of this.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* To make your paragraph read correctly, you need to set the clauses apart with proper punctuation. Without it, it's awkward to read.

 In a warm house
with ones you love
and dinner slowly cooking
in a crock-pot,
winter seems tamed
and vague,
A problem to worry about
and be attacked
with big shovels
and ice scrapers
on the morrow. 

         *Bullet* This phrase needs a hyphen.   drift making  drift-making

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature



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