%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4731249 |
 | Mood Senryu  [E] My dreary weariness in a 3 line poem.  |
| (5.0)| Hello Pinterra . Welcome to WDC! I'm happy to review Mood Senryu after discovering it on the "Read a Newbie" page–I was intrigued by the title. I'm not very experienced with poetry, so please accept my honest feedback and comments based on my perceptions of what you've written. If anything I mention here is off the mark or doesn't work for you, please disregard. The Poem's Title: I think the title is perfect. The description under the title could be improved. Since this is haiku, the description feels overly casual or maybe tells too much? From other poems like this I've read, I'd suggest changing the description to something shorter, maybe including the word "haiku" in it. Thoughts I have are something like "A Tired Haiku" or "Low Energy Day"–but these are my words. You know your writing better than anyone, so change the description to the words that come to mind for you–or don't change it if you don't see the need. Imagery: The imagery in the first two lines is spot-on. I immediately felt my body shift as you describe the fatigue weighing down on you. Theme: Definitely relevant to the world we live in today. The way our we live our lives has continued to change over the past decade, and the stress and strain is exhausting to the body and spirit. This poem brings this to my mind. Overall Impression: This is a well written haiku that is relevant and easily touches the reader. I enjoyed reading it, and reviewing it, too. Since the description line isn't part of the poem, I'm not including it in my rating of Five Stars.Side Note: I suggest that you return to this item and select something for all three genre. You currently have it listed as only as "Other," which will limit the views your poem will receive. Many people look for items to read and search by genre. I'd suggest that you review the list of genre available to become familiar with the list. For this poem, possibilities are personal, experience, emotional, and depending on where you're coming from with this poem, it might fit for you in health, self-help, family, environment, political... I could go on. But do your best to choose three genre that fit as well as can be. Thank you, Pinterra, for the opportunity to read and review your writing. Welcome to WDC! I look forward to reading more of your craft and hopefully getting to know you on the Newsfeed. Write On!    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 02/24/2024 @ 5:57pm EST