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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4729982
Review #4729982
Viewing a review of:
Castle's Chessboard Open in new Window. [E]
Random Writing, Blogs and Adventures
by KingsSideCastle Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "Rainbow Dragon" Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi KingsSideCastle Author Icon,

This is a review for "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

As another "WDC Dragon Vale " Open in new Window. [E] participant, I was interested in reading your poem. It's funny, isn't it, how we adopt a virtual egg, and in our mind we have this vision of our dragon friend - our creativity brings them to life. This poem is a beautiful reflection of that.

There is some lovely imagery here. Prism is a rainbow dragon, and you use her colours to great effect, painting a majestic picture as she flies through the clouds, her nature insuppressible. I especially loved the second half of the poem. I don't want to give away too much to other potential readers, but I loved the part about faded memories and distant dreams - some beautiful descriptions.

On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. It is free verse, with a pleasant rhythm and flow. Overall, I think this is an excellent introduction to your dragon. May she bring you much joy!

Suggestions:

I do have a couple of suggestions, dear author. I hope that you will find them helpful!

*Snow2* I am not sure that dove needs to be capitalised.

*Snow2* I would delete one of the exclamation marks at the end of the poem. It isn't necessary.

*Snow2* You use punctuation throughout this poem, for which I am very grateful. It assists the overall clarity and reading experience. In line with this, you allow the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. I am even more grateful for that! Except, in the second half of the poem there are a few lines that begin with a capital letter even though the sentence is ongoing. That confused me for a moment and made me look back on first read. I suggest, therefore, to bring these in line with the rest of the poem. That would perfect the overall clarity and reading experience.

My Rating:

This is a lovely poem about a rainbow dragon. I enjoyed the read.

I did have a couple of suggestions, but nothing major. For that reason, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4729982