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Review #4729249
Viewing a review of:
Izzy Bizzy  [18+]
Looking for love in all the wrong places
by Words Whirling 'Round
Review of Izzy Bizzy  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§amaCabre


Hallo!
This one showed up on 'read and review'. The title, brief description and genres work. AND - thank you for the line spacing, font and type size that made it easy to read!

Well, you said it would be naughty so the content didn't shock me. The tale flowed through easily via your rhyme.

In the second verse, I thought it was something terrible. Since you're vague what he actually did, I thought he had gone in and attacked her. I had to read more to find out he hadn't.

I'm glad she chased him away - and I think it would have been funnier if you were SURE he'd never return, instead of leaving that as a question.

In the first verse, you switch from past tense to present - you may want to standardise it.

Write On!

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/31/2024 @ 8:40pm EST
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