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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4729241
Review #4729241
Viewing a review of:
 Bluebird  [E]
First bluebird of spring
by RatDog
Review of Bluebird  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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#1188309 by iKïyå§amaCabre


Hallo!
I visited your portfolio because it's your WDC Anniversary. I like Haikus so I clicked on the folder.

The title and brief description work - you might want to pick more genres. For the layout I'd suggest WritingML - font, size, colour, center.

I like the picture you paint of the little bird singing to attract a mate. Within the confines of the form, you've evoked this beautifully.

While the poem works fine as it is, I'm wondering if tweaking the last line a bit may make it more interesting - like for example asking if 'she' will get attracted.

Thanks for sharing this!

Write On!
- Sonali

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