*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4728474
Review #4728474
Viewing a review of:
Winter  [E]
Poem I've been working on
by Joseph
Review of Winter  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§amaCabre


Hallo!
This one showed up on 'Read and Review'.

The title works. Maybe you'd like to look at the genres and brief description again, and update these.

I like the blue colour of the font.
The poem basically paints a bleak picture of winter. The images are evocative and the emotion comes through.

About the repeated words / phrases
I understand the repeated lines for effect.
However, I found some of the repeated words (or similar words) to be distracting. (Ice / icy, 'cold' in two different lines). I wished you had put a synonym there instead.

About the last verse
The rest of the poem is purely bleak.
You suddenly give a glimpse of a milder winter in the last line.
Somehow, this didn't feel complete.
I think the poem would have more impact if it were all-bleak, or longer with the milder aspect developed more, too.

Thanks for sharing this!

Write On
Dragon sig won in a raffle!

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/26/2024 @ 2:53am EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4728474