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Review #4726746
Viewing a review of:
 The one that doesn't exsist: After  [E]
Just random thoughts and feeling all over the place.
by mia
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi mia . Good morning. I found your offering in the Read & Review section.

I'm Polter-JACE: Cruising ... , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The one that doesn't exsist: After" .

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I have to say, I almost didn't take the time to review your humble offering. Your title really didn't hook me in.

But as I read your thoughts, I was reminded about a similar incident in my past that was much like the essence of your writing. In my mind though, my event was much less jumbled. You were true to your item description--random thoughts and feeling all over the place. As both a reader and as someone who experienced such feeling, I felt a loss of focus in your writing.

I can't say that you were wrong with how you coped with your loss; only that I found freedom from my feelings as I focused on them.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet*  May I suggest you read your piece out loud when you edit. You'll hear problem areas easier than you'll see them by just reading to yourself.    

*Star* My Rating.  4.0. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature



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