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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4726741
Review #4726741
Viewing a review of:
 Passageways  [18+]
Flash fiction entry
by BeeSmith
Review of Passageways  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi BeeSmith . Good morning. I found your offering in the Read & Review section.

I'm Polter-JACE: Cruising ... , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Passageways.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1*
Overall Impression. You display a great deal of emotion in such a short piece. On the one hand, you show the uselessness and desperateness of war with the turmoil inside Terrano. Your mother, however, displays a freedom that cannot be taken away. She has a mindset that gives her strength that Terrano desires.

Good job conveying those sentiments.

*Exclaim*
Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet*  Your writing mechanics are very good. I found no issues with your writing technique.
   

*Star*
My Rating.  4.5

*Heart*
Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4726741