Review of WHEN I AM OLD BEYOND REASON DYING

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Review #4724679

Viewing a review of:

WHEN I AM OLD BEYOND REASON DYING

[E]
whisper in my ear young son..
by njames51

Only reviews from the past
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#4724679

Review of WHEN I AM OLD BEYOND REASON DYING

Review by JACE

In affiliation with The Poet's Place

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Access: Public | Hide Review (?)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hi njames51

.

I'm JACE

, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "WHEN I AM OLD BEYOND REASON DYING"

in honor of your WDC anniversary.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

Overall Impression. Thank you for sharing this tender offering. It's easy to see the emotions displayed are real. Mother's love returned by her boys.

I noted your use of a color font. I wonder what the significance of using blue was.

It may just be a nit-picking point but your description indicates one son and your poem (fourth stanza) states 'both' boys.

Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

One typo: passon (second stanza) should be passion.

My Rating. 4.5.

Thank you for sharing this offering, and I look forward to seeing you around in the coming year. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.

Reviewed by
JACE