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 Review #4723590 |
| (4.5)    HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews"  Celebrating your writing this month with a review. Happy Account Anniversary mars ,I’ve arrived to peruse your portfolio and lend comment to some of your writing. This title caught my eye: "VOID,” as a haiku, encapsulates a profound sense of absence — a silence that resonates throughout these carefully chosen words. Thetraditional form of this Japanese poetry, often captures moments in nature or profound emotions with brevity and simplicity. Your poem adheres to that tradition while conveying a poignant theme of longing and the desire to break the silence. Stylistically, this offering embraces the essence of haiku with its three lines and a syllabic structure of 5-7-5. The brevity of the lines adds to the domino impact of each word arriving. The title, "VOID," sets the tone for the emotional emptiness conveyed here. The concise nature of the lines reflects the weight of the unspoken, emphasizing the void left by the absence and the quiet anticipation of rekindling expression. Thematically, you have explored in short form the aftermath of a prolonged absence. It depicts the unspoken words and the anticipation of resuming communication. The use of "too long" conveys the extended duration of the silence, creating a sense of yearning for connection. The juxtaposition of "silent pages" with the desire "to write; again" encapsulates the theme of renewal and the potential for healing through the act of expressing oneself. As with this haiku, one purges those feelings.. Poetic devices within the poem are often subtle, as you have utilized the power of contrast and suggestion. The void is palpable in the unsaid words and the silence conveyed through "silent pages." My contention: silence is sound; it sends a message to an available mind. The choice of the word "dream" adds a layer of hope and aspiration, suggesting the potential for a new beginning or the fulfillment of unspoken desires. Should you revisit, some suggested improvement: Perhaps, include exploring additional sensory details or specific images that convey and evoke a more vivid sense of the title ‘void’, and with anticipation of renewed expression. For example, incorporating nature imagery or metaphorical elements could deepen the emotional impact. Also, the placement of words or phrases within the 5-7-5 syllabic structure is key. You might add a subtle rhythmic variation, within its construct, enhancing the flow of this haiku. It was a pleasure to consider your haiku as part of the anniversary celebration of your 17th year at Writing.Com. Sincerely, Brian WDC Angel Army and Anniversary Reviewer   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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