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Review #4723447
Viewing a review of:
 The Taste of Asphault  [E]
A wreck. A poem.
by Liz Rector
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Liz,

In "A Taste Of Asphalt," you've crafted a vivid and intense prose poem that immerses a reader in the aftermath of a motorcycle accident. The opening lines paint a stark scene with "Blinding oranges and reds," setting the tone for a visceral exploration of a moment frozen in time. The use of vibrant colors and sensory imagery, such as flames licking up gasoline and the jet black asphalt, immediately engages the reader in a scene wrought with intensity.

Your style is characterized by its evocative language and attention to sensory details. The personification of flames as having "vaporous tongues" adds a striking visual element to the poem, infusing the scene with an almost otherworldly quality. The comparison of a sound to the "grinding screech of a metal monster" introduces an auditory layer that contributes to the overall sensory experience. This style invites readers to not only visualize but also feel and hear the elements within the narrative.

The theme you reveal revolves around the aftermath of a motorcycle accident, encapsulating the fragility of life and the abruptness of mortality. The imagery of "Liquid life drips from a hundred cuts" conveys the stark reality of physical injury, while the motorcycle lying as a "slumbering silver beast" symbolizes the cessation of movement and life. The theme invites contemplation on the delicate balance between life and death, as well as the impact of sudden, irreversible events.

Formally, the prose poem structure allows for a seamless exploration of the scene, unbound by traditional verse constraints. The use of concise, descriptive language and brief, impactful sentences contributes to the poem's pacing. Consider experimenting with line breaks or varied sentence structures to introduce subtle shifts in rhythm, emphasizing the emotional weight of each moment.

Poetic devices, such as personification and vivid imagery, significantly enhance the emotional resonance of this piece. The personification of the motorcycle as a "slumbering silver beast" and the vivid portrayal of the scene contribute to a remarkable narrative. To further enrich your poem, you could explore metaphorical language or symbolic elements that deepen the thematic resonance and should evoke a broader emotional response from your audience.

In conclusion, your prose is a gripping exploration of a traumatic moment, capturing sensory and emotional facets of the scene. Continue to explore poetic devices that could deepen the emotional and thematic resonance you have built here. Your ability to create a vivid and emotionally charged atmosphere showcases a keen sensitivity to your craft. A pleasure to have found this and more, and wanted to pass along my thoughts.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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