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Review #4723267
Viewing a review of:
  Precision  [E]
A sniper and photographer meet in a bar.
by Kevster
Review of Precision  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
~~~ A Newbie Review ~~~


Hello Kevster ,

A review of your short fiction, ‘Presession’, which I discovered on the read and review pages at WDC.

Your short fiction piece effectively creates an engaging atmosphere with its dimly lit bar setting, drawing readers into Max's world of photography and Lucy's mysterious precision. The initial hook is strong, using Max's passion and the symbolic camera bag to captivate readers' interest. The theme of precision is introduced seamlessly through Lucy's dialogue, adding depth to the narrative.

The character dynamics between Max and Lucy are well-crafted, and their contrasting perspectives on precision create an intriguing dialogue. The irony in Lucy's explanation of sniper precision adds complexity, foreshadowing a connection that unfolds throughout the story. The thematic thread of precision is consistent and contributes to the overall cohesion of the narrative.

The dialogue is a highlight, effectively revealing the personalities of Max and Lucy. The exchange of stories between them maintains reader interest, and the subtle irony in their conversation adds layers to their connection. However, consider tightening the pacing in certain sections, particularly during their interaction, to maintain momentum.

The dimly lit bar serves as a rich backdrop, but additional sensory details could be incorporated to enhance the atmosphere. Place is very important to a reader visually induced by story. You might want to strengthen the visual imagery associated with Max's photography and Lucy's precision, providing readers with a more immersive experience.

The ending, with Max and Lucy exchanging glances and acknowledging their connection, holds promise. It felt a bit vague, little to infer. To improve, delve deeper into the emotional resonance of this moment, allowing readers to feel the impact of their connection more profoundly.

This is a compelling short fiction piece with a solid foundation. Strengthening sensory details, visual imagery, and emotional resonance will elevate the overall impact, providing readers with a more immersive and memorable experience. A pleasure to have discovered and lend response.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature
November, 2023 Reviewer of month award.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 12/30/2023 @ 11:12pm EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4723267