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Review #4723196
Viewing a review of:
 Timid  [E]
A haiku about the wind
by ladyabstract
Review of Timid  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello ladyabstract ,

"Timid" presents a delightful haiku that harvests the essence of nature's dance through the personification of trees. There are various aspects of this poem that contribute to it’s charm.

The first line, "Wind, the breath of life," establishes a vivid connection between the wind and life itself. By attributing breath to the wind, the haiku introduces a subtle anthropomorphic quality, implying that the wind possesses life-like characteristics. This personification sets the stage for the ensuing interaction between the wind and the trees.

The second line, "coaxes trees to sway and dance," beautifully portrays the influence of the wind on the trees. The word "coaxes" suggests a gentle encouragement, creating an image of a nurturing force guiding the trees. The choice of "sway and dance" adds a dynamic and rhythmic quality to the scene. This line effectively conveys the fluid and graceful movement of the trees as they respond to the wind's coaxing.

The third line, "till they're shy no more," introduces a touch of whimsy and personification. Describing the trees as becoming "shy" implies a certain timidity or hesitation in their initial response to the wind. However, as the dance progresses, the trees shed their timidity and fully embrace the movement. This transformation adds a layer of emotion and character to the natural elements, inviting readers to empathize with the trees' journey from timidity to confidence.

The theme revolves around the interaction between nature's elements, emphasizing the transformative power of the wind on the trees. It captures a delicate and almost playful moment in the dance of the natural world.

In terms of form, your haiku has adhered to the traditional structural form with its three lines involving the 5-7-5 syllable count. The concise and focused nature of the Japanese form allows for a succinct portrayal of the scene, conveying a complete image for me that suggests it’s emotional nuance.

As a suggestion, consider experimenting with the use of a specific season word (kigo) to ground the haiku in a particular time of year. This could enhance the traditional aspects of the poem, connecting it to the ever-changing seasons in the haiku tradition.

I found, "Timid" to be a delightful haiku that captures the grace and transformation within nature's dance. Your skillful use of personification and vivid imagery contributes to the poem's charm and evocative quality. It aligns with what I attempt to discover with a poem, and a joy to consider for this feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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