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 Review #4723193 |
 | Fall's Spire  [E] Nature Haiku  |
| (4.5)| Hello Maverick ,Upon reading your haiku titled "Fall’s Spire," I'm immediately drawn into the beauty and simplicity encapsulated within the form’s three lines. The elegance of the language and the vivid imagery crafted in such a compact structure demonstrate a mastery of the haiku style. I here offer my reaction to the various elements incorporated that are contributing to beauty your poem. The first line, "Crystalline descent," sets the tone for the entire haiku. The choice of "crystalline" conjures a sense of purity and clarity, and paired with "descent," it paints a vivid picture of something delicate falling. This could be interpreted as either rain or dew, and the ambiguity adds depth for a curious reader like me, as it invites readers to engage with the imagery on a personal level. The word "crystalline" also introduces a sense of refinement, hinting at the aesthetic quality of the natural phenomenon. The second line, "Drops distend the lake's basin," beautifully expands on the initial image. The use of "distend" is particularly intriguing as it suggests not just a filling but a stretching, emphasizing the impact of the falling drops on the lake. This line introduces a tactile quality, making the reader feel the subtle, transformative touch of each raindrop on the lake's surface. The choice of "basin" adds a sense of containment and emphasizes the interconnectedness of nature. The final line, "Chilled kisses, Fall's spire," gracefully concludes the haiku with a metaphorical flourish. Describing raindrops as "chilled kisses" is a poetic personification that adds an emotional layer to the natural scene. The term "Fall's spire" is a delightful play on words, seamlessly blending the seasonal reference with the image of drops descending like a spire. This line invites contemplation on the symbiotic relationship between the elements and the changing season. The overall theme of the haiku appears to be the transformative beauty of autumn rain. It captures a moment of serene transition, where raindrops interact with the lake, echoing the cyclical patterns of nature. The seasonal reference to fall is subtly woven into the fabric of the poem, adding depth and a temporal dimension to the scene. In terms of form, the haiku adheres to the traditional structure of three lines with a 5-7-5 syllable count. The form contributes to the poem's effectiveness, allowing it to convey a profound image and emotion within a concise framework. As a suggestion, consider exploring the possibility of incorporating a kigo (seasonal word) more explicitly to enhance the seasonal association within the haiku. This could provide readers with an even more distinct sense of fall. “Fall’s Spire" caught my attention by title alone, sometimes part of the poem itself. A good hook is certainly a good title. Your haiku skillfully captures the essence of autumn rain. Your use of language, imagery, and form collectively create a harmonious and evocative piece that resonates with this reader. Sincerely, Brian WDC Super Power Reviewer    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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