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Review #4722091
Viewing a review of:
 Writing life Open in new Window. [E]
Let’s talk writing
by Olivethepoetess Author Icon
Review of Writing life  Open in new Window.
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A WDC Power Review


Hi Olivethepoetess Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Writing life" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. First, welcome to Writing.com. I've been here for more than 15 years and I still find it a wondrous place. I'm certain you will too.

I'm still learning my way at reviewing poetry--I prefer essays and short stories. So, I couldn't pass up your monologue.

Great job ... so far. I feel like you have more to share. Remember, this is, or should be, about you and your writing journey. That said, I've a couple suggestions below that might help tighten your monologue.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet*  Regarding your first sentence: This is my first piece here, I have always been passionate about writing and guess what life has offered me, writing.com.  It's too long, and as written, seems to need more than just a period. Suggest:  This is my first piece here. I have always been passionate about writing, so guess what life has offered me--Writing.com!

         *Bullet* Again, your second paragraph is one very long sentence that would have more impact broken into two or more sentences.  Try reading your work out loud. When I did that, it sounded awkward to hear. It's my favorite editing technique. 

*Star* My Rating.  4.0.  Yours is an above average offering that needs just a little effort to be great.

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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