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Review #4720947
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Ripples  [E]
We may not always know the effect we have on other people's lives.
by Danial Lucas
Review of Ripples  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Daniel,

I was perusing the latest poetry newsletter and found the promoted link for this piece.

Your poem "Ripples" invites readers into a contemplative space, exploring profound themes through the metaphor of a stone creating ripples in water. The simplicity of your language conceals a depth of philosophical inquiry, making each word a ripple that resonates with existential reflections.

Stylistically, your poem embraces brevity, a choice that enhances the impact of each line. The concise phrasing, as seen in "A stone, / rippling through water," immediately establishes a focused and deliberate tone. This style mirrors the contemplative nature of philosophical inquiry, where brevity often allows for heightened impact and reflection.

The theme of interconnectedness, portrayed through the metaphor of ripples in water, serves as a powerful lens for examining the complexities of human relationships and existence. The notion of a stone changing the essence of another, with individuals connected and suspended in time, creates a vivid image of the interconnected web of life. This theme unfolds gradually, like ripples expanding across a pond, allowing readers to engage with the layers of meaning embedded in each line.

Your poem's form, with its repetition and circular structure, echoes the cyclical nature of existence. The repetition of phrases like "together, apart, tethered, we find" adds a rhythmic quality, reinforcing the interconnected themes. The circularity of the poem contributes to the sense of continuity and emphasizes the perpetual nature of the philosophical exploration presented.

Poetic devices, particularly metaphor and personification, play a crucial role in elevating the poem's impact. The stone becomes a symbolic agent of change, representing the actions and choices that shape the interconnected lives of individuals. For example, "controlling foundations, destination, a stone" imbues the stone with agency, suggesting a profound influence on the trajectories of lives.

For suggestions, consider experimenting with the placement of line breaks to create visual impact and emphasize key ideas. Strategic line breaks can guide the reader's attention and enhance the overall rhythm. Additionally, you might want to consider furthering metaphorical imagery to further deepen the exploration of interconnectedness and existential themes. For instance, extending the metaphor to describe the depth, quality or light upon the ripples of water could enrich the sensory experience for the reader.

Congratulations on the highlighted newsletter link to your poem and a pleasure to have discovered your writing.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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