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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4720847
Review #4720847
Viewing a review of:
 From Under the Willow Tree  [E]
Short story written for the Writer's Cramp. Mildly scary for young'uns.
by Chris W
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello Chris,

"From Under The Willow Tree" establishes a captivating atmosphere with its evocative setting and mysterious elements. The story unfolds with a strong hook, drawing readers into Fae's world beneath the willow tree. The theme of a young girl navigating the challenges of her haunted environment adds a layer of intrigue and sets the stage for the unexpected.

The vivid description of the willow tree as Fae's refuge effectively creates a sense of security in contrast to the haunting experiences she faces elsewhere. The haunting entities, especially Arbuckle and Bucky, contribute to the eerie ambiance. These elements provide a solid foundation for the story, giving it a unique and engaging premise.

The pacing is well-managed, gradually building tension as Fae's curiosity about the barn intensifies. The interaction with the haunts adds complexity to the plot, hinting at a larger mystery surrounding Bucky. The narrative effectively combines elements of the supernatural with the mundane struggles of a young girl, creating a compelling blend of genres.

However, as the story progresses, you might want to consider providing more details about the haunts and their backstory. This could deepen the reader's connection to the supernatural elements and enhance the overall intrigue. Exploring the history of the farm and its previous tenants could add layers to the narrative.

The ending introduces a surprising twist that adds a chilling dimension to the story. The revelation about Bucky's true nature raises questions and leaves room for further exploration. The abrupt shift from curiosity to fear is well-executed, contributing to the suspense.

One suggestion is to refine the dialogue tags and ensure clarity in the exchanges between Fae and the haunts. For instance, in the line, "Play," Fae heard his voice, consider specifying whether the voice is audible or more of a mental communication to avoid confusion.

"From Under The Willow Tree" holds much promise with its intriguing premise, atmospheric descriptions, and unexpected twists. Expanding on the supernatural elements and providing additional context could elevate the story further. I wish you success in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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