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Review #4720846
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 Do you want to know?  [ASR]
A Psychic medium passes the time between appointments....
by Leighoire
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Leighoire ,

Your story, "Do You Want To Know?" presents a gripping scenario and explores complex family dynamics. The opening paragraphs draw readers in with a vivid portrayal of the psychic medium's experience, setting the stage for a mysterious and emotional journey. The use of sensory details, such as the energy spots and the jolt through the spine, effectively immerses the audience in the supernatural atmosphere.

The theme of secrets and revelations is well-established, adding depth to the narrative. The unfolding drama between the characters, particularly the family's reactions to the psychic medium's revelations, creates tension and keeps the reader engaged. The incorporation of a diary as a key plot element adds an intriguing layer to the story.

One notable strength is the dialogue, which feels authentic and serves as a crucial tool for character development. The distinct voices of each character contribute to a realistic portrayal of their personalities and emotions. For instance, the daughters' skepticism and the mother's emotional turmoil are palpable through their words.

However, to enhance the story, consider providing more nuanced introspection from the psychic medium. Delve into her thoughts and emotions, offering readers a deeper understanding of her perspective and the challenges she faces in conveying messages from the other side. This could strengthen the connection between readers and the protagonist.

Additionally, while the dialogue is a highlight, be cautious of repetitive phrases, such as the frequent use of "I asked" and "she replied." Varying the dialogue tags in your attribution could contribute to a smoother flow and prevent monotony.

In conclusion, your story holds promise with its compelling premise and well-crafted dialogue. Strengthening the introspective elements and refining dialogue tags can elevate the narrative. You've created an engaging story that combines the supernatural with familial drama. I found it a pleasure to have read that I might provide this response.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature


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