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Review #4720844
Viewing a review of:
WHISPERING WISHES  [E]
An entry for Lexi's contest
by SHERRI GIBSON
Review of WHISPERING WISHES  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Dear Departed Sherri, *Angel*

I was caught by the title. Engaging with "Whispering Wishes," I found a poem that reflects an exploration of grief and the impact of loss. The theme of yearning for a departed loved one permeates the verses, creating an emotional effect that many readers might be able connect with. However, some aspects of style, theme, and form I can provide with constructive feedback.

Stylistically, the poem’s simple language should effectively convey emotions tied to mourning for any reader. The repetition of the refrain "I’m constantly whispering wishes" serves as the anchor, emphasizing the persistent nature of this grief. However, need to be mindful of overusing this repetition, as it could lead to a sense of monotony. It might have been considered to use varied phrasing to maintain the emotional intensity while introducing a more subtle nuance.

The theme of loss is exhibited throughout, creating a noted narrative. The poem seems to rely on an attempt at sincerity, allowing readers to believe the depth of the speaker's pain. To enhance the thematic impact, it would have been wise to get more specific into memories or experiences that evoke the essence of the departed. This would have added a layer of vividness, allowing readers to also relate in the intimacy of those types of moments.

Structurally, the poem adheres to a consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme, contributing to its accessibility. However, it needed to be cautious of predictability. Experimenting with breaking away from strict rhyme schemes at key moments helps create surprise or emphasize certain emotions. For example, in the line "Wishing the emptiness I feel would subside," would need adjusting for the rhyme scheme to amplify the emotional weight of the sentiment portrayed.

Poetic devices, such as metaphors and similes, can be a poet’s friend, elevate imagery within a poem. Introducing figurative language to paint a more vivid emotional landscape would have helped. For instance, instead of stating "God’s holding you now until I join you," exploring metaphorical expressions can convey the spiritual connection, deepening emotional impact.

Now, if suggestions were made, it would be incorporating sensory details to evoke a more immersive experience. Appealing to the senses by describing sights, sounds, or scents associated with the memories of the departed is poetry 101. This could have enriched the reader's connection to the speaker's grief in this old poem.


Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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