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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4719955
Review #4719955
Viewing a review of:
 The News Article Open in new Window. [ASR]
Just a short story, not really horror or anything, just a small thrill.
by Sky Author Icon
Review of The News Article  Open in new Window.
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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A WDC Power Review


Hi Sky Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The News Article" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. First, I'd like to welcome you to Writing.com. I'm sure you'll find the members very welcoming.

Second, a quick editorial: As soon as you post an item in your Portfolio (unless you specifically state no reviews) you'll be subject to reviews of your item from members. Just remember that any review is just one person's opinion at that one time. Only you can decide to use the review for your benefit, or let it get to you negatively.

That said, I was intrigued by your story. I'd really like to read more about this 'situation.' Your premise has great potential and I hope you add to it. It was unclear to me as to the timeframe of your opening when Ryan was banging on Anne's door. It would be nice to know if that was before the "event," or after.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* Some WDC mechanics:

 Use the same size font throughout your story ... unless you have a specific reason for any size change. Consistency shows your reader that you're serious about your writing.  The same goes for spelling, punctuation and grammar.

 Consider adding a line between each paragraph. Adding some white space between paragraphs makes it easier to read your story on a screen. It IS different from reading a book.   Double spacing can be down by one of two methods--double space while you're actually writing. Or, use the double space option while in the edit item mode.

*Star* My Rating.  3.5.  This is an above average story with great potential for improvement.

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

** Image ID #1386062 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/20/2023 @ 8:31am EST
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