Lifeless [13+] I'm looking down at a lifeless body |
Hi taylor paape on this beautiful morning, I found your writing at your request and I am glad I did. A song about suicide and desperation, a harsh reality for many. The lyrics have a very serious and grave undertone, this is for real, not just some thing to pass the time with. The difficulty with lyrics is that I need music underneath it...this is a song for a rock band or perhaps a rap. And there is no music, it's eerie silent. So, what do I think about it? I think the refrain is awesome: Die young, And leave a bloody soul Die old, And leave a bloody corpse. Die young, And leave a lot of regrets. Die old, And leave nothing behind There is a cadance, a pace and rhytme I like. Your sad words ressonate! The only adding to it is that if this were a song, you could add the refrain a third time at the end to rapp it up. That gives the song more body. I hope that everything will turn for the better, I hope that you get solace out of writing these songs. Thank you for sharing! WakeUpAndLive~"HoHoHo" My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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