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Review #4718408
Viewing a review of:
 Lifeless Open in new Window. [13+]
I'm looking down at a lifeless body
by taylor paape Author Icon
Review of Lifeless  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi taylor paape Author Icon on this beautiful morning,

I found your writing at your request and I am glad I did. A song about suicide and desperation, a harsh reality for many.

The lyrics have a very serious and grave undertone, this is for real, not just some thing to pass the time with.

The difficulty with lyrics is that I need music underneath it...this is a song for a rock band or perhaps a rap. And there is no music, it's eerie silent.

So, what do I think about it? I think the refrain is awesome:
Die young,
And leave a bloody soul
Die old,
And leave a bloody corpse.
Die young,
And leave a lot of regrets.
Die old,
And leave nothing behind

There is a cadance, a pace and rhytme I like. Your sad words ressonate!

The only adding to it is that if this were a song, you could add the refrain a third time at the end to rapp it up. That gives the song more body.

I hope that everything will turn for the better, I hope that you get solace out of writing these songs. Thank you for sharing!

WakeUpAndLive~"HoHoHo" Author Icon



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