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Review #4718005
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Hello Charles,

I've carefully read your poem, "A Vein Split By Rigid Metal” and I want to commend you for the evocative and powerful imagery that permeate this piece. Your poem dives deep into the realms of pain, suffering, and the enduring impact of abuse.

The style of your poem is stark and unflinching, which suits the theme of suffering and confinement. The opening lines, "a vein split by rigid metal, blood exudes but no such thing as pain," immediately grabbed this reader's attention with their paradoxical nature. You skillfully have used contradictory imagery to convey the numbness and desensitization that can result from prolonged pain and suffering from abuse.

The theme of physical and emotional pain was palpable throughout. The vivid descriptions of "flashbacks of harm dance across neurons" and "images piercing away at the smallest bits still withholding sanity" created a visceral reading experience. It's clear that the poem, entered into Angela’s contest awhile back, is a cry against the enduring scars of abuse and the psychological wounds that persist long after the physical pain has subsided.

The form and structure you've chosen, with its fragmented lines and jagged stanzas, mirrors the fractured state of mind and body you're describing. The absence of traditional punctuation and capitalization adds to the sense of disarray and chaos, reinforcing the theme of disconnection and desolation.

Your use of poetic devices, such as metaphors and alliteration, enhances the emotional impact of your poem. The metaphor of "enslaved by humanity" is a potent way to express the idea of being bound by the actions and cruelty of others entrusted. The repetition of "embracing separation" and "ignoring the shackles" adds a sense of resignation and acceptance to the poem's overall tone.

If I were to offer anything by way of suggestion, you might consider delving further into the idea of recovery or resilience. Is there a glimmer of hope or strength within the speaker, even in the face of such intense suffering? Exploring this aspect could provide a more complex and nuanced perspective on the subject matter. It could deliver something of hope or possible reprieve. Unfortunate that we must linger with the all-to-real, lasting impression.

I had discovered this poem among those that placed in the newly resurrected contest by Warped Sanity . It was a surreal and daunting experience to have read your well-crafted poetry today. I wish you well.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

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