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Review #4716432
Viewing a review of:
 For Thee  [18+]
Grief causes a tragedy to occur.
by Jtpete 1986
Review of For Thee  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Jtpete 1986 ,

I came across your poem "For Thee" and was given pause and thought I might like to offer my thoughts with some feedback.

This poem begins with a strong and evocative image of someone bowing on bended knee and submitting their soul willingly. This immediately sets a tone of devotion and sacrifice in my mind. The use of the word "curse" in the line "You utter a curse Line and verse" adds an intriguing layer of complexity. It suggests that the relationship or devotion being described may not be entirely positive, which piques this reader's curiosity.

The theme of the sea as a powerful and relentless force is well-established throughout the poem. The sea is personified as "O'Mighty Sea," and the speaker's life is dedicated to it. This theme of devotion to a powerful and unforgiving entity is compelling and creates a sense of tension and drama within the poem framework.

Your use of poetic devices is quite effective here. The repetition of "For thee" throughout the poem emphasizes the speaker's dedication and reinforces the central theme. The imagery of "Salted tears fall are mine" and "Baked sun, my lips do broil" adds vivid sensory details that help the reader to feel the speaker's suffering and sacrifice. Additionally, the alliteration in "baked" and "broil" creates a pleasing sonic quality.

However, there are areas where your poem could possibly be improved. The poem's brevity leaves room for further exploration of the theme and emotions. You might consider expanding on the reasons behind the speaker's devotion to the sea or delving deeper into the consequences of this devotion. This could provide more depth and complexity to the poem.

Furthermore, the poem's structure is quite minimal, and while free verse allows for creative freedom, adding some variation in line length or stanza breaks could enhance the visual and rhythmic aspects of the poem. Hearing it aloud is the truest test. I, myself, forget this.

In conclusion, "For Thee" was a thought-provoking poem to consider that explores themes of devotion and sacrifice with evocative imagery and effective use of poetic devices. To make it even more impactful, consider expanding on the theme and experimenting with the poem's structure a little bit. It was a pleasure to discover you and this.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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