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 Review #4714117 |
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| (4.0)| Hi tracker  ,I spotted this piece in your portfolio and thought it was interesting, so here's my review!  Overall Impression: As mentioned above, I found this to be an interesting piece. Within 663 words you offer a lot of information on autism. It is clear that you have a strong opinion on the subject brought on, no doubt, due to your own experiences of living in the same home as your autistic grandson. You highlight some of the challenges of living with an autistic child. Express concern about what his life will be like when he is an adult. I think that this is a natural concern, and it adds warmth to the essay. This is not just a clinical piece - there's heart and feeling which I found to be a welcome addition amongst the general information that you offer. You have researched the subject - its potential causes, and a variety of treatments. You have placed these findings in a logical structure that's easy on the eye and easy to follow, for which I thank you. You begin and end the essay on the note that autism must stop. That's a strong, clear stance. It's also somewhat controversial. That's not a bad thing - it opens the door to debate. On the whole, I think this is an essay worth reading. Suggestions: I do have some suggestions, dear author. I hope that you will find them helpful! Part 2:  There is a line space missing between the first and second paragraphs. I don't know if you were working with a word limit, but some further information would be welcome here. It is true that Asperger's used to be a separate diagnosis from Autism Spectrum Disorder, but that it is now considered to be a part of the spectrum. It is also true that people with Asperger's do not have an intellectual disability and that, in general, they are able to function better than some others who need around-the-clock physical and emotional care. It is not necessarily the case, however, that people with Asperger's do not have severe symptoms. Some find it very difficult to function in society. This can be for a multitude of reasons - each autistic person is different. One problem they face is that because it is assumed that their symptoms are not so bad, they're expected to 'just act normal'. To fit in. This can lead to them attempting to mask their struggles which, in turn, can lead to autistic burnout. According to the British National Autistic Society autistic burnout is 'a syndrome conceptualised as resulting from chronic life stress and a mismatch of expectations and abilities without adequate supports. It is characterised by pervasive, long-term (typically 3+ months) exhaustion, loss of function, and reduced tolerance to stimulus.' It may be worth, then, going slightly more in-depth in this section.Part 3: He needs quarterly monitoring by a specialist accompanied by medication.Again, I think it's worth adding more depth here. There is currently no medication to treat autism. There is, however, medication that can help treat/alleviate some symptoms or related conditions such as anxiety or depression. I think it would be helpful to highlight that. An adult must monitor him continually, twenty-four hours a day.As this section contains information on your grandson, but also about autistic children in general, I suggest clarifying if this refers to him - not every autistic child needs to be monitored around the clock. General Suggestions: I understand that you may have been working with a word limit. I also understand that it's a difficult subject, especially as you talk from experience with your grandson. There are, however, some generalisations here - not every autistic person has meltdowns, for example. With this being listed as an essay rather than an opinion piece, I think it would be good to consider different angles. Your view is that autism must stop. You offer reasons for why you feel that way. But there are no counterarguments considered, as there usually would be in an essay. You could consider, for example, how autistic people themselves might feel about your conclusion. I have no doubt that some would agree. Others, however, will not. There are some strong voices holding a firm stance against organisations such as Autism Speaks who paint autism as a terrible disease that destroys families and must be eliminated. Many autistic people simply want to be accepted, rather than cured. How would you counter this? Should society adapt to embrace greater neurodiversity, or should it strictly adhere to what it considers to be the norm? Does the elimination of what society considers to be undesirable variety take us down the path of eugenics? I'm taking an academic approach here - I would understand if you prefer not to. My Rating: This is a well-written piece, well worth a read. It is clear that you are passionate about the subject, and that shines through. I did have a few suggestions. I think that there are places that would benefit from some clarification and a little more depth. I also feel that as it is an essay, it would benefit from considering not just information in favour of the taken stance, but also other viewpoints and evidence, before reaching its final conclusion - even if that conclusion ends up being the same as before. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4 out of 5. Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! Kit    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You last responded to this review 09/30/2023 @ 2:22pm EDT