The use of personification is done quite appealingly.

A mental condition where the victim is a sudden prey to the hovering enemy is described figuratively.
"He lurks & waits to consume & Play ."

A few edits regarding language and spelling.

"vast & open"
(vast and open
please use "and" in place of its abbreviated version,&)

"THIS desolate place dark & frigid ."
(This desolate place is dark and frigid.)

"THEIR END IS THEIR NEW BEGINNING CEASING NEVER TO AGAIN BE FREE DAMNED IS HE & NOW SO THEY."
(THEIR END IS THEIR NEW BEGINNING. CEASING NEVER Again TO BE FREE. DAMNED IS HE and SO are THEY.)

Doubt-

Is the use of capitals for highlighting your thoughts?

Spelling-
"HE LYES IN WAIT...."
(HE LiES IN WAIT...
lie and lye have different meanings.

Write on!




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