%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4713295 |
 | Cupid's Arrow  [18+] Is love fate, a choice, or just a chemical reaction?  |
| (4.5)| Dear BlackAdder ,I discovered "Cupid's Arrow" on the read and review pages, so I’m on the clock! Your sci-fi/romance story raises thought-provoking questions about the nature of love, choice, and the influence of chemicals. I read a narrative that pries at the moral dilemma faced by the protagonist, Tram, grappling with the effects of a mysterious beverage and how it impacts his feelings for Lisa Chang. One of the strongest elements of your short fiction was the ability to create a sense of intrigue and suspense from the very beginning. The opening scene at Cupid, Inc. introduced me to to a world of secrecy and corporate power, which helped formulate a narrative that I found engaging and thought-provoking. This idea of a state-run corporation using chemical persuasion to foster love adds a very intriguing sci-fi twist to the traditional romance genre…one that brought me back to old movie titles like Love Potion No. 9 (which I’ve never seen, but have assumed premise). Movies then were fantasies of being irresistible to women, thinking we could exploit it (as men), learn our one true love was under our nose the whole time…and she’s hot! Hmm.  But, I digress from those formulaic romcoms.I felt Tram Fong is well-developed, and his internal struggle adds depth to the story. The conflict he faces between his feelings for Lisa and his loyalty to his girlfriend, creates a compelling emotional dilemma. Tram's journey from a skeptical journalist to someone deeply affected by the chemical manipulation is portrayed with authenticity. I have a journalism background, so good value add there. The story also effectively explores the moral and ethical aspects of love induced by chemicals. It prompts readers to ponder the age-old question of whether love is a matter of fate, choice, or mere chemical reactions. This philosophical theme adds depth to the narrative and invites readers to reflect on the complexities of human emotions. Now I’m thinking about pot and mushroom legalization and a gold mine of morality plays within that. I see it with my transgender kid…and with an edgy Netflix series by Jud Apatow called simply, “Love,” whose characters wrestle less with morality and more with their own foibles that make them relatable but mostly bad or pathetic people. Getting off course again. I’m tasked with finding areas where the story could be improved, per your own remarks on reviewing. The transition from Tram's initial skepticism to his sudden and intense attraction to Lisa feels somewhat abrupt. Providing more insight into the gradual shift in his emotions would make his character arc more believable. Now I’m thinking of transformations like Jerry Lewis in the Nutty Professor.  It might be an intriguing line to tow, getting into descriptive, emotional physicality with a more observable process. I’d also add, the conclusion leaves some loose ends. While it's clear that Tram has been persuaded by the chemical, the resolution lacks closure regarding his future actions and the consequences of his decisions. Providing a more definitive ending could enhance the overall impact of the story. I’m stretching, thinking of the Jim Carrey movie…title…ah…Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Anyway, it’s how those characters responded to choices to reverse the love process, by forgetting. Am I in left field yet?In terms of style, the prose is clear and well-written, with descriptions that vividly bring the settings and characters to life. Your dialogue effectively conveyed the tension and emotions within the story. Summing up, this was thought-provoking for me, as you see me putting it in context of all kinds of scenarios/vehicles, albeit cinema/tv, with its unique premise. Your story challenges conventional notions of love with strengths that lie in an intriguing premise, well-developed protagonist, and that philosophical exploration of love. I’d really like to see Tram’s emotional journey develop with some more to chew on with finality closer to resolution. This is a promising narrative that encourages readers like me to contemplate the complexities of human emotions and choices we are faced with. Brian Super Power Reviewer    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/27/2023 @ 12:27am EDT